Regarding My Anger

What Are Some of the Causes?

Fear and pride are the biggest sources of my anger. I’m afraid that I’m going to get hurt, or I feel like someone is treating me like I’m small or insignificant.

I hate to lose. More so, I hate when someone treats me like I’m lesser than them. My pride says that I’m great and should be treated at least equally. Generally though, I feel superior to most everyone.

When I see injustice (by my own definition of it) I must fix it. Usually the injustice is a minor act, often committed against me, or an act I’ve been guilty of myself.

How Do You Deal With It?

I use yell or use curse words to give vent to my anger or to look scary when I’m afraid. I run away and hide in something that gives me comfort – bed, food, movies, etc. I ignore it and don’t talk about it. If I’m really angry, I break things. These are the things I’ve used for as long as I can remember to process my anger. Its a disaster.

What Else Have You Tried That Didn’t Help?

Deep breathing exercises, anger management class, going for a walk, taking a break. Physical activity.

What Have You Tried That Does Help?

Counseling to some degree, though that’s more of big picture ideas to help my heart. Talking with someone about how something made me feel. Writing down my thoughts and feelings. Praying the most basic prayer over and over “God please help.” Imagining Jesus suffering for me, and asking me to suffer too, for his name.

What Is The Real Problem?

My own wickedness and sin. My heart cares mostly about myself. When what I want is threatened or taken, I care so much I’m willing to “murder” someone according to the Bible’s definition, by my words and hatred. If I hurt, someone else must pay.

What Does The Bible Say?

A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but one slow to anger calms strife. – Pro 15:18 CSB

A person with intense anger bears the penalty; if you rescue him, you’ll have to do it again. – Pro 19:19 CSB

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise person holds it in check. – Pro 29:11 CSB

Don’t let your spirit rush to be angry, for anger abides in the heart of fools. – Ecc 7:9 CSB

If the ruler’s anger rises against you, don’t leave your post, for calmness puts great offenses to rest. – Ecc 10:4 CSB

but he did not have regard for Cain and his offering. Cain was furious, and he looked despondent. Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you furious? And why do you look despondent? “If you do what is right, won’t you be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. – Gen 4:5-8 CSB

Regarding My Fear: What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He did not even spare his own Son but offered him up for us all. How will he not also with him grant us everything? Who can bring an accusation against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies. Who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is the one who died, but even more, has been raised; he also is at the right hand of God and intercedes for us. Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Can affliction or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: Because of you we are being put to death all day long; we are counted as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Rom 8:31-39 CSB

Regarding My Pride: Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be exploited. Instead he emptied himself by assuming the form of a servant, taking on the likeness of humanity. And when he had come as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death — even to death on a cross. For this reason God highly exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow — in heaven and on earth and under the earth — and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. – Phl 2:5-11 CSB

Conclusions For Now

God has called us to master our sin.

We must fight against it.

Do not give vent to your anger, only a fool does this.

With the power of Jesus, we can defeat anything.

We have nothing to fear. Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.

We can humbly submit to God and lay down our life each day, because Jesus did it first and gave us the example and God’s spirit lives within us now.